I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize