that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
