New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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