I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We left an ass print on the piano.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize