we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize