We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
