capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
