Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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