you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
