Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
