We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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