I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize