im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
