sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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