Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
