So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
