Got a toothbrush?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
