trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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