i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
