Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize