No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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