For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
