Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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