super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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