i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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