I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
