your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
