Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Duck Duck Cougar?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize