I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
