End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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