i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I looked at my own cervix.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Found the puke drawer
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
