I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
