if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
