You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize