he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
