are you so shy because you have an std?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
