please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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