i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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