So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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