Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
