Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
