why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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