Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
