let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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