I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
