So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
