i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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