what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
