i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
