worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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