Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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