For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
