So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I supernannyed him into submission
My bed smells like the plague
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
