Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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