True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
