Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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