Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
