i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
