walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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