Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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