some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
