I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
