Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
