He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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