I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize