we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
