She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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