Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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