man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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