I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize