You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
