And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
