I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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