I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So squirting runs in the family.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
